did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
