We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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