So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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