hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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