Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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