Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
