Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
