just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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