I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
