Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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