There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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