Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
