You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
