cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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