got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Watching her eat just hurts me
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize