So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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