Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
