Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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