He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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