at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize