Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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