im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i now understand why vodka
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
