That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
