dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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