writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
