Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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