You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
