took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
