I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Found the puke drawer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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