That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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