He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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