dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
