I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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