She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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