And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
