Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
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