Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
