Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
