you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
