at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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