do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Michael Bay diarrhea
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
