Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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