she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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