I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
