Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
