Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
