He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
