Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
