Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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