Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
