this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners