Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it because I queefed?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
