he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack