I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
