Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
