There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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