I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
